Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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