just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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