My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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