glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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