You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
