Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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