Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize