His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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