the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
