i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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