hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
