she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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