Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
