don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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