She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My Sexting was not on an AP level
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
