it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
