FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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