did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
