Having a random hookup so left but love u
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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