so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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