I can text with my tongue
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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