Someone shit on the floor
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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