hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
