when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
