you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
