I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
