super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
