it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
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