Don't you send me to vm
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
