The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
