he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
