you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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