Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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