That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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