ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
