her vagine was all disorganized.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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