Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
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Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
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Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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