I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He did a backflip because drugs
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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