the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
