'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
