One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
