i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Randomize
