LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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