i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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