This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
