oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
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Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
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Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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