I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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