just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
