I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
