I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i think my tv is drunk
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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