You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
