That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize