her vagine was all disorganized.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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